Well it has been a while since i have written anything, One- things are kind of slow around here with the kids back in school, and two- i didn't really want to write about bad stuff on my blog, but i guess those are memories i should be writing too, plus i need to vent today, so here goes! Well most of you know that Josh has never been an easy child, I have gone threw so much with him from very early on, I think I knew i was in for it when he started Kindergarden, One day he came home from school with a brand new pack of gum, I asked him where he got it and he said, "I stole it from my teacher", WHAT?" How did you do that?" I just saw it on her desk and took it." Or the time he just came home in the middle of Kindergarden, he said he thought school was over, i asked him, "I wasn't there to pick you up, so what made you think school was over?" I don't know, you weren't there so i just walked home." I was freaking out, first that his teacher didn't even call me to see what happened to him and second that he just walked home and had to walk across some pretty busy streets to get home and third, what if i wasn't home? OR the time when we were living at my parents house and he became obsessed with matches, we caught him underneath my parents deck trying to light them, we grounded him for a week, the day after his grounding he went out to the neighbors house and burned down one of their trees!! He was only in 1st grade!! Those are just a few examples of how Josh was as a little kid. Not to mention that he has struggled all threw school, He had two years of preschool and when he went to Kindergarten still couldn't even write his name! We have held him back a grade, and still to this day he struggles. So that just gives you just a Tiny, tiny taste of what we have to deal with on a daily basis with him. People would tell me, If your child his hard when they are little that usually means they are great teens, well I was so looking forward to that, but you know what, that's not happening. So now Josh is in 9Th grade and now if he gets an F on a report card, he has to retake the class or he wont graduate. Well like clockwork, we get his progress report saying he is in danger of failing not one, not two but three classes!! I have to talk to him about it and his answer this time was one that got me sooo fuming mad, i wanted to punch him right in the face! He says to me, I can just retake it on line, my friend Andrew did it and he said it was a piece of cake." WHAT?? So you want to fail all of your classes so you can take a bunch of them over again during summer? He looks at me like, whatever, it's no big deal! Then we have parent teacher conference, Same old story, only this time he is really turning in the homework, but just blank. See last year he didn't turn stuff in, this year he thinks i will just turn it in blank? WHAT? I can not understand it. I get so frustrated with him. There is only so much fighting i can do, then i am done. I feel like everyday is a battle. I just want to throw my hands up and be done, but i know i cant. So to top it all off, We get a package in the mail, open it up and it is a Double Day book club with two books in it, Addressed to Josh. One stupid princess book and another End of Days book? So we have to confront him again, what is this? He swears up and down he didn't do it, so we call the company and they said he clicked on something online and signed up. So we had the whole chat about not clicking on stuff and we are in the process of trying to cancel this. Then yesterday i got our Discover card bill, on it was a MSN charge for 18.95. I didn't think too much about it, but i was like that is weird, see i don't have a discover card, It is Doug's, so i know i didn't put it on there. So last night i asked Doug what that was, he had no clue, so he called to see what it was and of course, Josh Fillmore ordered Dial-up Internet?? What the crap? First off we pay for high speed cable Internet, so why on earth would he do that? This morning i had to ask him about it and he has no clue what i am talking about. So i do some looking around and we have been paying for this for 4 months now! All of this is happening yesterday, the day he texts me and tells me he got a 65 on a test, but he can retake it tomorrow and that he is really sorry. So i am feeling pretty good that he at least texted me and let me know, so i told him to bring home the stuff so we can study tonight, and of course, when it comes time to study he wont do it, says he can do it today, I was so done fighting with him, Doug was working late so i let it go. I know i should be tougher, but it is so mentally draining, some days i cant do it anymore! So Josh is grounded for yet another week, he will probably retake this test and fail it yet again, and he will be home mopping around and making me feel like crap for the next week! This is why i say Teenagers suck! I know i wasn't the best teen, but i don't feel i deserve this! Well there you have it! Sorry for the vent session, just had to get it off my chest! I do want to say , I love Josh very much, he is super funny, has lots of friends, and i think if i wasn't his mom i would want to hang with him, but since i am his mom, I have to be the bad guy, which makes it so hard.
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